It's one of those products that has been around since I was a kid, and is still going strong.
Why, because it promises to produce results without pain! Yes, it's that popular medicated spray for kid's "owies" called Bactine. It has become popular in the eyes of parents, and kids alike, because it claims, in its' advertising slogan that it, "Helps the hurt stop hurting"! "Wow, an anticeptic spray that won't send a kid realing from the sting of medicated liquid hitting an open wound, or scrape! Where do I get it? I don't care what it cost!"
Many tweens today are hurting from an open wound that is in serious need of care. Not a physical wound, but instead, and emotional and psychological one, low self-esteem.
I know this might not be news to most of you, but what I'd like to draw attention to the mistake we are making in choosing the wrong cure for their ailment in the form of materialism.
Materialism has become, in the eyes of many preteens, the end all cure for the "owie" caused by wondering if they fit in, if they are liked by their peers, or are popular enough to even be recognized, as they move throughout their day.
But, like many worldly answers, materialism is only a small bandage being used to cover a gaping would in many 10-12 year-olds today.
Preteens are thinking, "I don't know what to say or do to fit in, but if I'm wearing the right jeans, have the proper brand of shoes, the new iPod, Wii Game, etc., maybe it will hide my insecurity...so mom, dad, hand over the goods!" And still the wound grows, gets infected and then starts to really hurt.
A better cure...Involvement!
Involving preteens in any activity begins to give them a sense of worth! It reminds them they do count; they do have purpose. It refortifies the notion that they are useful and have untapped skills just waiting to bust out! Using sports, clubs, after-school activities are great for parents, but the church can jump in as well. Put your preteens in-charge of things related to your group or ministry. Have them set up and breakdown the rooms. train them to run your audio-video department. you'd be surprised how much more they know about "techy" things than we do. Have them lead prayer groups, weekend sports events, organize a book club (Great source for a boys book club is my Adventures of Johnny Lazarus Book Series: http://keithpoletiek.com/lazarus.php ), whatever it takes. Once they have a title and the responsibilities that come with that title, they will begin to find that illusive self-esteem put in them by God himself!
Involvement "Helps the hurt stop hurting!"
Feedback: How do you involve your tweens in things? Are you willing to share the cure with all of us?
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I have seen a huge trend towards pushing teens and kids towards church and youth group. Don't get me wrong, I had great youth group experiences myself as a kid and believe there is value in it. However, I think we need to step up as believers and parents first and start taking responsibility for our kids. They need our help in starting and continuing their walk with Christ. Hopefully then the titles and responsibilities will fall into place. You can't be successful at much of anything unless you start with a solid foundation at home.
ReplyDeleteJust saying...
-Mike DeFriend